Don't be shellfish...
Thanks for the welcome back all from my All-Star Weekend excursion.* I talked with Grey and he said ‘why the heck didn’t you write one?’ to which I responded ‘but please, sir, you promised me some time off around the break while I worked on the Razzball Fantasy Football side of things.* You also said you’d bump my pay from 2 bits to 3 for the year.* Does that still apply?’* From that point on there was much caning and agony until I reminded him of my Luke Scott call from the week prior to calm him along with refilling his vape.* But of course, none of this matters to you really, you’re here for this week’s creeper.* So without much more pomp, let me type with the 4 remaining fingers that work why Justin Smoak is a good pickup for week 16 of the 2013 fantasy baseball season.
Let’s see, how many different puns could I have gone with in that intro?* Smoak On The Water?* Would’ve been apt, he plays in Safeco, a stadium that is bordering on being on the water.* Smoak too much, hehe?* That would’ve required your knowledge of the Monty Python universe and I can’t assume that of you guys and gals, though I will say you’re all silly bunts.* Of course the real question is, ‘would any of them not have been said before?’* Wait, that’s not the question, the question is why am I blathering about this when I should be talking about Justin.* Understood, so let’s get this out and done.
Justin Smoak…hit…ball…good…now…buy.* I put the extra elipses in there for you to make it feel like there needs to be more said.* You can fill in the blanks on your own.* Considering this week’s post Creeper Mad Libs.* For cereal, though, this isn’t a matchup call this week just like the Luke Scott Creeper last week wasn’t.* You see a guy hitting the ball well, you go pick him up.* It’s not that hard.* Ok, maybe it is hard with a guy who’s had no success at the major league level up to this point in his career.* Given his ownership in yahoo and ESPN leagues (8% and 9.9% owned respectively as of Saturday), I think that history is clouding what could be a post-hype break out, but at the very least is a downright nice hot streak going.* Since returning from the DL on June 18th, Smoak has batted a ridiculous .329/.414/1.036 slashline in 84 at bats to go along with 6 homers and 15 RBI.* To put that in perspective, that pace over a 500 at-bat season is 35 dingers and 89 RBIs.* That’s what the kids call ‘not too shabby’.* Wait, the kids don’t use the word shabby anymore, do they.* Do they still call good things ‘sick’ and put ‘hella’ in front of things…I’m so out of my element here.* But I’m not with fantasy baseball!* So if you feel the need for a power streak to ride for this week and perhaps beyond, realize I’m not blowing Smoak up your arse and go grab Justin.
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Thanks for the welcome back all from my All-Star Weekend excursion.* I talked with Grey and he said ‘why the heck didn’t you write one?’ to which I responded ‘but please, sir, you promised me some time off around the break while I worked on the Razzball Fantasy Football side of things.* You also said you’d bump my pay from 2 bits to 3 for the year.* Does that still apply?’* From that point on there was much caning and agony until I reminded him of my Luke Scott call from the week prior to calm him along with refilling his vape.* But of course, none of this matters to you really, you’re here for this week’s creeper.* So without much more pomp, let me type with the 4 remaining fingers that work why Justin Smoak is a good pickup for week 16 of the 2013 fantasy baseball season.
Let’s see, how many different puns could I have gone with in that intro?* Smoak On The Water?* Would’ve been apt, he plays in Safeco, a stadium that is bordering on being on the water.* Smoak too much, hehe?* That would’ve required your knowledge of the Monty Python universe and I can’t assume that of you guys and gals, though I will say you’re all silly bunts.* Of course the real question is, ‘would any of them not have been said before?’* Wait, that’s not the question, the question is why am I blathering about this when I should be talking about Justin.* Understood, so let’s get this out and done.
Justin Smoak…hit…ball…good…now…buy.* I put the extra elipses in there for you to make it feel like there needs to be more said.* You can fill in the blanks on your own.* Considering this week’s post Creeper Mad Libs.* For cereal, though, this isn’t a matchup call this week just like the Luke Scott Creeper last week wasn’t.* You see a guy hitting the ball well, you go pick him up.* It’s not that hard.* Ok, maybe it is hard with a guy who’s had no success at the major league level up to this point in his career.* Given his ownership in yahoo and ESPN leagues (8% and 9.9% owned respectively as of Saturday), I think that history is clouding what could be a post-hype break out, but at the very least is a downright nice hot streak going.* Since returning from the DL on June 18th, Smoak has batted a ridiculous .329/.414/1.036 slashline in 84 at bats to go along with 6 homers and 15 RBI.* To put that in perspective, that pace over a 500 at-bat season is 35 dingers and 89 RBIs.* That’s what the kids call ‘not too shabby’.* Wait, the kids don’t use the word shabby anymore, do they.* Do they still call good things ‘sick’ and put ‘hella’ in front of things…I’m so out of my element here.* But I’m not with fantasy baseball!* So if you feel the need for a power streak to ride for this week and perhaps beyond, realize I’m not blowing Smoak up your arse and go grab Justin.
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