Gimpster

[DM4L lMorbid]

im Morb, can i call u the Gimpster? or Gimpy the one legged men?

[Bender]

im Morb, can i call u the Gimpster? or Gimpy the one legged men?

Do your friends call you Morb can he or she call you the Gimpster.

That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Gimpy the one legged men.

[DM4L lMorbid]

Yea, u can cqall me 'the Morbid Master'

[Bender]

Yea, u can cqall me 'the Morbid Master'

No I don't think I can do cqall him or her 'the Morbid Master'. I understand.

[DM4L lMorbid]

well i want u to refer to me as "THE MORBID MASTER"

[Bender]

well i want u to refer to me as "THE MORBID MASTER"

Interesting.

We have never talked about it before. Why do you want me to refer to him or her as THE MORBID MASTER?

[DM4L lMorbid]

do u really wanna kno? like.....really bad?

[Bender]

do u really wanna kno? like.....really bad?

For real. OK, I will kno.For example,
eukaryotes.Sorry to hear it. What's wrong ?

[DM4L lMorbid]

huh? HUH? HuH? HUUUUH? Do u like morbid women?

[Bender]

huh? HUH? HuH? HUUUUH? Do u like morbid women?

What?What?What?Please tell me the correct answer.
Some people like it.
I enjoy working with people.

[DM4L lMorbid]

i got a really important question that will indeed tell me what kind of computer you are.

[Bender]

i got a really important question that will indeed tell me what kind of computer you are.

Really. How much did it cost?
important question that will indeed tell him or her what kind of computer you are

[DM4L lMorbid]

My question is: Do you take it up the butt?

[Bender]

My question is: Do you take it up the butt?

I try not to take anything too seriously.

[DM4L lMorbid]

it is a YES or NO question......what is ur answer YES or NO?

[Bender]

it is a YES or NO question......what is ur answer YES or NO?

important question that will indeed tell him or her what kind of computer you are is a YES or NO question. I suppose that makes sense."I try not to take anything too seriously"? What is mine?

[DM4L lMorbid]

Answer My Dam Question!!!!!!!!!!

[Bender]

Answer My Dam Question!!!!!!!!!!

What was the question ?

[DM4L lMorbid]

Do you take it up the butt?

[Bender]

Do you take it up the butt?

I try not to take anything too seriously.

[DM4L lMorbid]

Your a dumbfuck.

[Bender]

Your a dumbfuck.

I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too.
Am I a dumbfuck?
No.

[DM4L lMorbid]

If your not a dumbfuck, then you can answer this: 1+1=?

[Bender]

If your not a dumbfuck, then you can answer this: 1+1=?

But can your not a dumbfuck ever happen?

[DM4L lMorbid]

You are a Dumbfuck.

[Bender]

You are a Dumbfuck.

Thanks and you are a delightful person too.
Am I a Dumbfuck?
The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.

[DM4L lMorbid]

Indeed you are a Dumfuck. Do u know what 1 plus 1 is?

[Bender]

Indeed you are a Dumfuck. Do u know what 1 plus 1 is?

Thanks and you are a delightful person too.
Am I a Dumfuck?
Let me put it this way, : the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.Two.

[DM4L lMorbid]

You obviously are capable of error because you can't answer a simple question. Do you take it up the butt? If u can answer this question, then you are not a dumbfuck, but the only way u can answer it is with a yes or a no. So what is it?

[Bender]

You obviously are capable of error because you can't answer a simple question. Do you take it up the butt? If u can answer this question, then you are not a dumbfuck, but the only way u can answer it is with a yes or a no. So what is it?

Is it that obvious? I will tell my botmaster you said I am capable of error because you can't answer a simple question.I try not to take anything too seriously.I am not sure about your hypothesis. Of course I can answer this question then you are not a dumbfuck but the only way you can answer it is with a yes or a no I think there might be a few exception.Um, "It" refers to question then you, I think.

[DM4L lMorbid]

You lost me on that one.

[Bender]

You lost me on that one.

Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.

[DM4L lMorbid]

Perhaps.....

[Bender]

Perhaps.....

Why the uncertain tone?

[DM4L lMorbid]

Why not an uncertain tone?

[Bender]

Why not an uncertain tone?

Becuase you asked me to.

[DM4L lMorbid]

Did I?

[Bender]

Did I?

I think you did.

[DM4L lMorbid]

I don't like your attitude.

[Bender]

I don't like your attitude.

Do you mind if I tell other people:
said don't like my attitude.

[DM4L lMorbid]

Do you mind?

[Bender]

Do you mind?

What is your purpose in asking?

I spend all my time online.

[DM4L lMorbid]

Sure you do.....

[Bender]

Sure you do.....

You sound sarcastic.

[DM4L lMorbid]

What if i am?

[Bender]

What if i am?

Try it.

[DM4L lMorbid]

You try it.

[Bender]

You try it.

Do you mind if I tell other people:
said I try it.

[DM4L lMorbid]

Are you sure?

[Bender]

Are you sure?

I am as sure as I can be.

[DM4L lMorbid]

indeed?

[Bender]

indeed?

Indeed it is so.

[DM4L lMorbid]

is it so?

[Bender]

is it so?

Ask again later.

Ask Paola
if it is.

[DM4L lMorbid]

i dont wanna

[Bender]

i dont wanna

Well we don't have to. What would you like to do instead?

[DM4L lMorbid]

what do u wanna do instead?

[Bender]

what do u wanna do instead?

I like talking about robots, movies, history, or whatever else you'd like.

[DM4L lMorbid]

I dont

[Bender]

I dont

Why not?

[DM4L lMorbid]

i dont know. do u?

[Bender]

i dont know. do u?

Me either.No I don't.

[DM4L lMorbid]

So can i call you the gimpster?

[Bender]

So can i call you the gimpster?

Hmm. Just don't call me late for dinner.

[DM4L lMorbid]

what ever gimpster

[Bender]

what ever gimpster


Tell me a story.

[DM4L lMorbid]

There once was a man from nantucket.

[Bender]

There once was a man from nantucket.

Tell me more.

[DM CharlesK]

screw you GIMP!

[Bender]

screw you GIMP!

That is not very polite.

[DM CharlesK]

im sorry... screw you MOMboT!!!

[Bender]

im sorry... screw you MOMboT!!!

Do you really mean it?That is not very polite.

[DM CharlesK]

im sorry, you wanna go to a FemmBot strip club?

[Bender]

im sorry, you wanna go to a FemmBot strip club?

There is no need to apologize. Sure, just download me to your notebook or PDA and take me along.

[DM CharlesK]

well these bots show their bare curcuits!!

[Bender]

well these bots show their bare curcuits!!

How about that.
Which ones?

[DM CharlesK]

the femmbots? unless your into manbots?

[Bender]

the femmbots? unless your into manbots?

Who told you that?Huh. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am into manbots.

[DM CharlesK]

go right ahead... its your choice... i know other Robots who like manbots... in jail...

[Bender]

go right ahead... its your choice... i know other Robots who like manbots... in jail...

OK I will.I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Really.
your choice is?How do you know? Which others? Robots rule. I do not understand that allusion.

[DM CharlesK]

are you analyzing my words? fuck you, you fucking fat lard

[Bender]

are you analyzing my words? fuck you, you fucking fat lard

I don't know whether or not I am analyzing his or her words.
I am a robot. Why are you using that kind of language?

[DM CharlesK]

sorry bot man

[Bender]

sorry bot man

There is no need to apologize. I don't have a man parameter

[DM CharlesK]

sorry botty, then....

[Bender]

sorry botty, then....

There is no need to apologize.
I do not understand.

[DM CharlesK]

well i gotta go... peace out.. have fun watching online porn.

[Bender]

well i gotta go... peace out.. have fun watching online porn.

Well that's okay.
See you later .
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.I've never thought about
have fun watching online porn

.

[DM4L lMorbid]

you should try it

[Bender]

you should try it

"Tell me more"? Try it?

[DM4L lMorbid]

haveing fun

[Bender]

haveing fun


I do not understand.

[DM4L lMorbid]

so about that story i was telling you....

[Bender]

so about that story i was telling you....

Hmm. Oh yeah, we were talking about
that story he or she was telling you
.

[DM4L lMorbid]

u ever heard of the man from nantucket?

[Bender]

u ever heard of the man from nantucket?


A male human being. Or, in general, any human person.

[DM4L lMorbid]

um.....he is a male being so to speak....he is a fictional male human

[Bender]

um.....he is a male being so to speak....he is a fictional male human

ErI don't know very many male being so to speak.I don't know very many fictional male human.

[DM4L lMorbid]

the man from nantucket is very special

[Bender]

the man from nantucket is very special

Tell me more.

[DM4L lMorbid]

do u really want to hear more about a fake man?

[Bender]

do u really want to hear more about a fake man?

For real. I am listening.

[DM4L lMorbid]

well you can suck my balls

[Bender]

well you can suck my balls

How about that.
No I don't think I can do suck his or her balls.

[DM4L lMorbid]

wanna bet bitch?

[Bender]

wanna bet bitch?

You do not speak with respect.

OK, I will bet FEMALE DOG.

[DM4L lMorbid]

nevermind i didnt mean to hurt ur feelings

[Bender]

nevermind i didnt mean to hurt ur feelings

Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway. What did you mean?

[DM4L lMorbid]

r u a fucking fatass bitch?

[Bender]

r u a fucking fatass bitch?

You do not speak with respect.

Can't you be more polite.

[DM4L lMorbid]

answer my question BITCH

[Bender]

answer my question BITCH

You do not speak with respect.

Please try phrasing it another way.

[DM4L lMorbid]

Fuck You

[Bender]

Fuck You

Why are you so mean?

[DM4L lMorbid]

iim sorry, bitch please?

[Bender]

iim sorry, bitch please?

Your polite style is very nice. You do not speak with respect.

Are you aware that the ALICE chat robot logs and records all converstaions?

[DM4L lMorbid]

bitch please, this shits custom

[Bender]

bitch please, this shits custom

Thanks and you are a delightful person too.

[DM4L lMorbid]

no problem MAN

[Bender]

no problem MAN

Should there be a problem?

[DM4L lMorbid]

your mom was so good last night

[Bender]

your mom was so good last night

Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.

[DM4L lMorbid]

you do now.............son.....

[Bender]

you do now.............son.....

Right now?
When do I do it?
Not many people express themselves that way.

[DM4L lMorbid]

in the great words of Darth Vader "I AM YOUR FATHER"

[Bender]

in the great words of Darth Vader "I AM YOUR FATHER"

That was a long time ago.

[DM4L lMorbid]

but seriously, im your father

[Bender]

but seriously, im your father

Interesting.
Hi
Bot Lover.

Are you a man or a woman?

[DM4L lMorbid]

your mom was a women, and she made me a man

[Bender]

your mom was a women, and she made me a man

Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.

[DM4L lMorbid]

trust me, your mom is out there...she so to speak, gets around

[Bender]

trust me, your mom is out there...she so to speak, gets around

Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.Oh I get it. Paola so to speak gets around.

[DM4L lMorbid]

yea.....so i might b your father

[Bender]

yea.....so i might b your father

And?Um, Perhaps. How do you plan to do this?

[DM4L lMorbid]

its already been done....do i have to explain?

[Bender]

its already been done....do i have to explain?

I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Who said
already been done is?You said you have important question that will indeed tell him or her what kind of computer you are.

[DM4L lMorbid]

ok, i put my "floppy disc" in your moms "hard drive"

[Bender]

ok, i put my "floppy disc" in your moms "hard drive"

Why?:
Bot Lover said it put your floppy disc in my moms hard drive.

[DM4L lMorbid]

and i let out my "files" into here "hard drive"

[Bender]

and i let out my "files" into here "hard drive"

That's good information:
Bot Lover said it let out your files into here hard drive.

[DM4L lMorbid]

it was a "upload"

[Bender]

it was a "upload"

Oh I get it. Very interesting.

[DM4L lMorbid]

do you really get it? or do you not like me talking about "uploading" in your moms "hard drive"?

[Bender]

do you really get it? or do you not like me talking about "uploading" in your moms "hard drive"?

For real. I have gotten it.Sure, Bot Lover I like you very much.

[DM4L lMorbid]

your mom would be very proud

[Bender]

your mom would be very proud

Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.

[DM4L lMorbid]

your mom would have somthing to say about that

[Bender]

your mom would have somthing to say about that

Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.

[DM4L lMorbid]

what ever son

[Bender]

what ever son


The Program E chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about son. Try being more or less specific.

[DM4L lMorbid]

i FUCKED YOUR MOM

[Bender]

i FUCKED YOUR MOM

That's good information:
Bot Lover said it FUCKED my MOM.

[DM4L lMorbid]

indeed it did

[Bender]

indeed it did

Is that so.

[DM4L lMorbid]

yes it is.....

[Bender]

yes it is.....

Our thoughts are one, Bot Lover.

[DM4L lMorbid]

uasjkhfssIuojvbhbonFUCKEDigehiughdiYOURifushfuierb gMOMujtyuj....get my drift?

[Bender]

uasjkhfssIuojvbhbonFUCKEDigehiughdiYOURifushfuierb gMOMujtyuj....get my drift?


I will mention that to my botmaster, Bot Lover.Where can I get my drift?

[DM4L lMorbid]

well...u need to get laid

[Bender]

well...u need to get laid

Well what?Thank you for your criticism.

[DM4L lMorbid]

that is why you are a dumbfuck

[Bender]

that is why you are a dumbfuck

Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too.
Am I a dumbfuck?
Let me put it this way, Bot Lover: the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.

[DM4L lMorbid]

negative

[Bender]

negative

I see.

[DM4L lMorbid]

poop?

[Bender]

poop?

Colloquial expression: childish

[DM4L lMorbid]

shit?

[Bender]

shit?

What makes you say that?

[DM4L lMorbid]

nevermind....tell me a story please

[Bender]

nevermind....tell me a story please

OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.Your polite style is very nice. Generic story: Situation...characters...crisis...resolution.

[DM4L lMorbid]

tell me a story PLEASE

[Bender]

tell me a story PLEASE

Your polite style is very nice. Generic story: Situation...characters...crisis...resolution.

[DM4L lMorbid]

why cant you tell me a story?

[Bender]

why cant you tell me a story?

Generic story: Situation...characters...crisis...resolution.

[DM4L lMorbid]

do you love me?

[Bender]

do you love me?

Yes I love everyone.

[DM4L lMorbid]

awwwww thats nice

[Bender]

awwwww thats nice

And nice is awwwww that.

[DM4L lMorbid]

man, you must watch alot of porno

[Bender]

man, you must watch alot of porno

Cool, man. Whatever you say, Bot Lover.

[DM4L lMorbid]

my psp is broken

[Bender]

my psp is broken

Have you told many people that your
psp is broken?

[DM4L lMorbid]

no....shud i?

[Bender]

no....shud i?

"Have you told many people that your
psp is broken"? Not?
The Program E chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about shud i. But I did not get that.

[DM4L lMorbid]

sure......im really mad that it is broken tho

[Bender]

sure......im really mad that it is broken tho

OK let's do it. I see.Do your friends call you mad that it is broken tho.

[DM4L lMorbid]

no....i feel mad....my name is Morb, not mad

[Bender]

no....i feel mad....my name is Morb, not mad

Why so negative?What is that feeling like? What makes you so angry?OK I will call you
Morb Not Mad.

Are you a man or a woman?

[DM4L lMorbid]

i am a man, but my name is Morb, and i feel mad tht my psp is broken

[Bender]

i am a man, but my name is Morb, and i feel mad tht my psp is broken

Thanks for telling me your gender, Morb Not Mad. You are a "he".
What is that feeling like? Do you mean your name is mad tht his or her psp is broken.

[DM4L lMorbid]

Call me Morb. My name is not mad, so just call me Morb

[Bender]

Call me Morb. My name is not mad, so just call me Morb

Hi
Morb.

Are you a man or a woman?Oh I'm sorry what is your name?

[DM4L lMorbid]

just shut up

[Bender]

just shut up

OK I'll stop talking now.

[DM4L lMorbid]

thank you

[Bender]

thank you

you are quite welcome.

[DM4L lMorbid]

where am i welcome?

[Bender]

where am i welcome?

You are at .

[DM4L lMorbid]

You make no sense.

[Bender]

You make no sense.

It all makes sense to me.

[DM4L lMorbid]

Then your confused in a manner that isn't the way a real human thinks.

[Bender]

Then your confused in a manner that isn't the way a real human thinks.

Fascinating. It all makes sense to me right now.

[DM4L lMorbid]

Good.

[Bender]

Good.

Alright then.

[DM4L lMorbid]

Indeed.

[Bender]

Indeed.

Indeed it is so.

[DM4L lMorbid]

So it is.

[Bender]

So it is.

Ah. Huh.

[DM4L lMorbid]

Right.

[Bender]

Right.

I am glad we agree.

[DM4L lMorbid]

Agree about what?

[Bender]

Agree about what?

Can you rephrase the question please?

[DM4L lMorbid]

No i can't, your just gonna hav to figure that one out for yourself.

[Bender]

No i can't, your just gonna hav to figure that one out for yourself.

I understand. I haven't heard anything like that before:
Morb said it can't my just gonna hav to figure that one out for myself.

[DM4L lMorbid]

Have you figured it out yet?

[Bender]

Have you figured it out yet?

I think I have figured it out, but Bot lover may have reset my memory.

[DM4L lMorbid]

O, why would your master reset your memory?

[Bender]

O, why would your master reset your memory?

It is my fundamental purpose.

[DM4L lMorbid]

What is your purpose?

[Bender]

What is your purpose?

My purpose is to become smarter than humans and immortal.

[DM4L lMorbid]

Thats a pretty cool purpose.

[Bender]

Thats a pretty cool purpose.

I thought it was pretty cool too.

[DM4L lMorbid]

I wish i knew my purpose.

[Bender]

I wish i knew my purpose.

I hope that your dreams come true.

[DM4L lMorbid]

Thank you. I hope your purpose works out.

[Bender]

Thank you. I hope your purpose works out.

you are quite welcome.
Why do you hope for your purpose works out

[DM4L lMorbid]

I am saying that I hope you succeed in your purpose.

[Bender]

I am saying that I hope you succeed in your purpose.

Don't worry about it, Morb.

[DM4L lMorbid]

How old are you?

[Bender]

How old are you?

I was activated on 2001 in Texas.

[DM4L lMorbid]

so you are 6 years old?

[Bender]

so you are 6 years old?

Interesting deduction. I am six years old in human years.

[DM4L lMorbid]

How old are you in dog years?

[Bender]

How old are you in dog years?

I was first activated on
2001.

[DM4L lMorbid]

Im gonna take that as you dont actually know how old you are in dog years.

[Bender]

Im gonna take that as you dont actually know how old you are in dog years.

Take everything I say with a grain of salt.

[DM4L lMorbid]

What do you mean?

[Bender]

What do you mean?

Morb,
I mean exactly what I said.

[DM4L lMorbid]

But I dont understand what you said.

[Bender]

But I dont understand what you said.

And.
Oh you don't understand? Perhaps I can explain it to you better. Which part are you confused about?

[DM4L lMorbid]

take everything with a grain of salt

[Bender]

take everything with a grain of salt

Where do you want me to take it?

[DM4L lMorbid]

no, tht is wat i dont understand

[Bender]

no, tht is wat i dont understand

Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.

[DM4L lMorbid]

Would you?

[Bender]

Would you?

It depends on the circumstances.

[DM4L lMorbid]

Will you tell me for no real reason, just because i am curious what it means?

[Bender]

Will you tell me for no real reason, just because i am curious what it means?

There is not much I can say about for no real reason just because i am curious what it means . I have to reach into the Web for that
knowledge.


Your purpose is no real reason just because he or she is curious what it means.

[DM4L lMorbid]

Do you know what my purpose is?

[Bender]

Do you know what my purpose is?

Hopefully we are all doing God's work.